As an attorney, people often come to me looking for answers to complex problems. Many of them want the kind of knee-jerk reaction they might get from a good friend or relative with whom they’ve confided. They want to know what will happen next, what the law says, or how a problem can be resolved, and they want to know how long the resolution will take. This is understandable, since most people seek legal advice during stressful situations, and uncertainty is uncomfortable. Clients feel off balance, and count on an attorney to right their ship quickly and with the least amount of further discomfort. We all prefer clarity over confusion. It just doesn’t normally happen overnight.
Through the years, I have learned that the quality of an answer is almost always determined by the quality of the questions that come before it.
The legal profession is often viewed as a field built on expertise and knowledge, and it is. But knowledge comes, not only from codes, caselaw and seminars, but from the kind of experience that leads you to ask the most poignant questions at the correct time. It’s important to continue listening, even when your experience wants you to keep the focus on the most important aspect of your questions. People don’t just need to be heard, they need to believe that you are truly listening. You can’t accurately fake interest, and you will lose the confidence of your potential client if you try. By honing the ability to ask thoughtful and, more importantly, insightful questions, I feel I’ve struck the kind of balance that will lead me ultimately to the correct pathway forward for a successful resolution to the problems posed.
This invaluable skillset applies far beyond the courtroom. It influences how we solve problems, build relationships, make decisions, and continue learning throughout our lives.
The Danger of Wanting Immediate Answers
We live in a world that rewards speed. Information, accurate or otherwise, is available instantly. Opinions are formed quickly. Decisions are expected immediately.
The problem is that quick answers are not always good answers. Frankly, very rarely are quick answers the best answers when it comes to the practice of law.
In my legal experience, I have seen situations where the first explanation offered by a client turned out to be only part of the story. Generally speaking, clients won’t mislead an attorney who is trying to help them, but they will tell their story in their own way; that is, by focusing on what they feel is most important. Again, this is where really listening to the client comes into play. Ultimately, you will get the information needed, but the facts, that don’t help a case, can nevertheless become part of a story that is told to a jury or a judge. Framing your client by their “story” gives them a more personal appeal to judge or jury, and can naturally lead to a favorable outcome.
Again, thoughtful inquiry helps us move beyond quickly drawn assumptions and further toward a deeper and more meaningful understanding of the issues.
Professional Advantage of Patience
One of the most valuable assets in my particular skillset must be patience. By this I don’t mean patience with the client; I mean patience with myself.
Patience is not simply asking questions and waiting for the needed answers. It’s collecting all of the provided information, culling out the facts necessary for a provable position, and then returning to the rest of the story for the color needed to paint your client’s portrait. A well crafted story, or well painted portrait, of your client is worth its weight in gold when you present it to the fact finder. So preparing far ahead of the main event, if it comes to that, means (for me) going over every detail, walking in circles and talking to myself until the words become almost art. Patience with yourself allows you a genuine desire to understand how something works, why it happened and in what way, or what factors may not be immediately visible.
When I was in law school, much of our education focused on analyzing facts and identifying issues that others might overlook. Success was never about memorizing information alone. It was about learning how to think critically; how to apply the law to a particular set of facts (the story) in order to achieve a desirable outcome. Patience with yourself was non-existent there, but invaluable in practice.
That process begins with questions.
Why did this happen?
What evidence supports the outcome desired?
What information is missing?
What assumptions are being made?
The more experience I gained, the more I realized that patience becomes much more valuable long after formal education ends.. The people who have patience with themselves, continue asking questions and, thus, continue growing. The people who assume they already know everything simply stagnate themselves and stop learning altogether.
I describe myself as a lover of perpetual learning and forever a work in progress. That mindset depends on allowing myself to be patient with me. There is always more to learn, more to understand, and more perspectives worth considering.
Listening Is Part of Asking Good Questions
One of the best pieces of professional advice I can offer is simple: talk less and listen more.
Attorneys have a reputation for enjoying the sound of their own voices. Sometimes that reputation is deserved. I’ve never met anyone who can learn by speaking. When you are speaking, you are expelling information, and it’s impossible to take anything in, of any real value. The only knowledge I have ever gained from speaking is that I don’t like the sound of my voice. But listening! As I wrote earlier, the real listener is capable of gaining so much insight into their clients, their clients’ issues, and potentially a plausible outcome.
When people feel heard, they often share details they might otherwise leave out. Those details can completely change the direction of a case. If nothing else, such details guide you to deeper questions, and a better understanding of your client.
The same is true in everyday life. Many people listen only long enough to prepare their next response. Genuine listening requires patience. It requires setting aside assumptions and paying attention to what is actually being said. The better your patient focus, the better your listening skills will be.
Good questions, patience, and good listening, all work together. One or two alone yields incomplete results, and frequently dissatisfied clients.
A thoughtful question opens the door. Careful listening allows you to walk through it with confidence.
Better Questions Lead to Better Decisions
Throughout my career, I have worked in criminal law, civil litigation, family law, probate matters, and estate planning. Although each area presents unique challenges, one principle remains constant.
The best decisions are usually made after careful investigation.
Before making a recommendation, I want to understand the facts. Before forming a conclusion, I want to examine the evidence. Before deciding on a strategy, I want to consider alternatives.
This process can sometimes feel slower than people would like. But again, having patience and taking the time to ask the right questions often prevents mistakes that are far more costly later.
Life works much the same way.
Many of our biggest decisions involve incomplete information. We choose careers, relationships, investments, and opportunities without knowing exactly how things will unfold. While certainty is impossible, thoughtful inquiry and patience with ourselves, improves the quality of our decisions.
The goal is not to eliminate risk. The goal is to understand it as clearly as possible.
A Commitment to Lifelong Learning
Some of the most interesting people I know are not the ones with all the answers. They are the ones who never stop asking questions.
They remain curious about the world around them. They read widely. They challenge their assumptions. They seek out different perspectives. They understand that learning is not something that ends with a diploma, or two, three, or even more.
I have always enjoyed legal research and reading historical biographies because both activities remind me how much there is to discover. To me, the law and history are two sides of the same coin. Black Letter Law, as it is known, has evolved from our historical roots. Case Law is the story of people–real people who changed our laws, or helped to better define them. History is filled with examples of individuals who altered the course of events because they questioned accepted wisdom and pursued deeper understanding.
Progress often begins with a question.
The Questions That Move Us Forward
Answers have value. We all need them. Clients seek them. Professionals provide them. Decisions eventually require them.
But great answers rarely appear out of thin air.
They are built through investigation, listening, patience, and thoughtful inquiry. They emerge when we are willing to slow down, gather information, and challenge assumptions.
The next time you face a difficult decision, resist the urge to grab the first answer available. Instead, spend time developing better questions. Have patience with yourself and respect your personal process of problem solving. It gets better and better with time.
In law and in life, the quality of your questions often determines the quality of your results.